Drug Testing

Ploney — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 05:36:03 GMT

XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX: /* What Does NOT Work */

One of the latest in CorpGovs thought control has been the implementation of drug tests. In Hoffman's day, primitive Drug Tests were just starting to come on the scene. The total outrage of it made him so concerned, he had to do a follow up book called 'Steal this Urine Test'. That book is long outdated now and BigMed and CorpGov have many, many more tools now. There is also quite alot of bullshit going on in the drug culture about what works, what does not, and when the man can legally test you even amongst veterans. Also, what may have helped a stoner pass a test in the 1990s, may not work today.

Know that not passing a drug test or refusing a drug test, with the important exception of when on probation, does not result in jail time. However, if you have a professional license like a Nurse, Doctor, or Truck Driver, this can be reported to the respective board and may make you lose your profession.

As with all drugs and mentioned throughout the Free Dope sections: Do not take the word of friends, "someone who knows someone", or even free-to-edit wikis (you heard it!) Do your own research and believe real scientists, good academic papers, and known experts. Also, realize that the cat and mouse game between the user and the labs is constantly evolving. Information gets outdated quickly.

==Places and Times to Expect a Drug Test==

*As part of the Employment Process. This is the most common time. Nowadays, even some of the most mundane jobs want a drug test before hiring someone. This is usually done by the cheap, mass produced 5-panel urine tests. However, there are some that want hair. Yes, you can refuse to take it, but the employer does not have to hire you.

*Reasonable Suspicion at Work. If you are slurring, stumbling, smell like liquor, or seem high at work, your employer can ask you to take one. Best thing to do is do not show up to work drunk or high. Call in sick.

*Work Place Accident. If you are involved in an accident while on the job, you can be tested. Be aware that if you test positive, you will probably NOT be eligible for Workers Compensation if you are hurt. You will probably be fired as well. (depends on area)

*Random Testing. Some (depends on area) Cops, Firefighters, Heavy Machinery operators, Military, Off-shore workers, and many more can be tested randomly at any time for no reason. Do not worry, this is fairly uncommon and regulated and more importantly,can get expensive. If you are in an industry that allows this, your employer will give you notice in the hiring paperwork.

*Hospitalization. When admitted to a hospital, you usually sign a form letting them perform any test necessary for your care. Although it does not mention drug test, one could be ordered if the doctor feels a medical need. Be assured you WILL be tested if you are giving birth, saying you want to kill yourself, come in overdosed, come in acting bizarre or violent, or prescribed a drug with known bad interactions with street drugs. A positive drug test when having a baby can attract the attention of the hospital social worker depending on what drug came up positive.

*Probation. If you have run afoul of CorpGov, they may want to drug test you for a period of time depending on how you pissed them off and where you are. Please note YOU CAN go to jail for refusing this test or testing positive! Sometimes they will watch you pee, too to make sure you are not trying to fake the test.

*Applying for Life Insurance. Some Life Insurance Policy companies will test you for nicotine to make sure you did not lie to them about smoking.

*Certain college programs. Usually programs like Nursing, Dental School, or Medical School. These are given right before clinical portion of the program.

*When applying for some professional License or card like Off-shore TWIC cards or Nurse License.

*A very few High School Programs in some places, with a parent's consent.

*Selling Blood Plasma. However, they are only testing for Heroin due to IV drug users reputation for sharing needles and spreading blood-borne diseases.

==What Drugs Are Tested For?==
The most common drug tests check for marijuana, cocaine, amphetamines (like meth or speed), opiates like heroin, and PCP.

Sometimes, the lab can offer extended tests that can detect for prescription drugs or Alcohol.

Extremely rarely, they will they check for LSD, Mushrooms, Peyote, or inhalants. Rare enough not to even worry about.

==Kinds of Drug Tests==
Now that you know when to be ready, lets talk about what weapons BigMed and CorpGov have available to pry into your private life.

*5 Panel Urine Test. The most common and least expensive test. Usually, they are going to make you go to an off site lab. Some places have the tests there, however. What they do is make you pee into a clear cup. They tell you not to wash your hands or flush when doing this to prevent you from adulterating the sample. Indeed, sometimes they will color the water of the toilet so you can not adulterate it with toilet water. They will then take the temperature to make sure it is fresh and not brought in and check to make sure it is not too clear. The cup will then be sealed in front of you with your initial to certify the collector has not tampered with it then sent off to a lab. It usually takes 24 to 48 hours to get results back.

*On Site Urine test. These are use by rehab facilities and some other employers and give results immediately. The same routine applies as the 5 Panel, but does not need to be sent off to a lab and can be read on spot.

*Hair Drug Test. This is a very expensive test and not used very much except by very nosy employers. It is also one of the most accurate and very hard to fool with the longest detection rate. What they do is take a plug of your hair and take it to the lab. This test can tell what you have done for up to 90 days or longer!

*Breathalizer. This is the machine pigs keep in the squad car to test for people driving drunk. The cop places a disposable mouthpiece in the machine and makes you breath into it. It only detects alcohol. There is no known way way to defeat it. Most of the common myths do not work. In fact, mouthwash can make it read higher!

*Blood Test. Blood Tests have the least window of detectability. These are used mostly by medical staff or very limited legal situations where it must be known if a certain drug is in the system at that time. They are the most accurate, but very expensive. As such, beating this test will not be discussed.

*Sweat, Saliva, and other tests. These are in their infancy and are not approved for use by the Department of Transportation or the Feds. They typically are limited into the drugs they can detect. The only advantage is the ability to give direct results.

==Length of Time Drugs Stay in System==
One of the sad facts and greatest atrocity of these tests is that it detects pot for long periods of
time while serious mind-fuck and body-fuck drugs like crack and heroin are gone fairly quickly. Below, is a list of the most common drugs and how long it takes to get out compiled from multiple sources. Only the most commonly tested of drugs are covered.

Be aware, length of time staying in also depends on metabolism, body weight, and many other factors.

With pot, body fat comes into play. Higher body fat means THC stays a bit longer.

{| class="wikitable" border="1"
|+ Approximate values for detection periods (from wikipedia)
! Drug Name !! Urine Test !! Hair Test !! Blood Test
|-
! Alcohol
| 6–24 hours || up to 90 days || 12–24 hours
|-
! Amphetamines (except meth)
| 1 to 3 days || up to 90 days || 12 hours
|-
! Methamphetamine
| 3 to 5 days || up to 90 days || 1–3 days
|-
! MDMA (Ecstasy)
| 24 hrs || up to 90 days || 25 hours
|-
! Barbiturates (except phenobarbital)
| 1 day|| up to 90 days || 1 to 2 days
|-
! Phenobarbital
| 2 to 3 weeks || up to 90 days || 4 to 7 days
|-
! Benzodiazepines
| Therapeutic use: up to 7 days. Chronic use (over one year): 4 to 6 weeks || up to 90 days || 6 to 48 hours
|-
! Cannabis
| 3 to 7 days, up to >30 days after heavy use and/or in users with high body fat || up to 90 days || 12-24 hours generally, up to 2 weeks in heavy users
|-
! Cocaine
| 2 to 5 days with exceptions for certain kidney disorders || up to 90 days || 2 to 5 days
|-
! Codeine
| 2 to 3 days
|-
! Cotinine (a break-down product of nicotine)
| 2 to 4 days || up to 90 days || 2 to 4 days
|-
! Morphine
| 2 to 4 days || up to 90 days || 1 – 3 days
|-
! Heroin
| 3 to 4 days || up to 90 days || 1– 2 days
|-
! LSD
| Tests for LSD are extremely rare.
|-
! Methadone
| 3 days || up to 97 days|| 24 hours
|-
! Phencyclidine|PCP
| 3 to 7 days for single use; up to 30 days in chronic users || up to 90 days || 1 to 3 days
|}

==Beating Urine Drug Tests==

*Go Drug-Free. This is a perfectly viable way to pass a drug test. They cannot detect what is not there. (with the exception of a few rare things that generate false positives) Barring that, you probably should at least lay off the stuff if you are unemployed or expecting one. If you lack the willpower or are so addicted to not be able to do that, you may have more serious problems than passing a drug test.

*Get Synthetic urine or urine of a non-drug user. This actually CAN WORK. Synthetic urine is based off the same stuff the lab techs need to calibrate the machines. The only thing is, you will have to watch the temperature and make sure you can get this in the facility without it being discovered. They do sell belts with bladders and temperature monitors for this purpose.

*Trusted DeTox Product. This is IFFY. BigMed makes a fortune out of testing and researches anti-test products on the market. What worked last year may not work this year. There are also so many out there, that one cannot be recommended. Use at your own research and mind. Some may offer money-back guarantees with a documented failure, but this is a ruse. They know the documented results are going to the employer and not you. Be cautious. Even then, be aware all of these products only keep you clean for a "window" of around 4 hours. No product can flush completely.

*Help your own body clean out faster. This is IFFY, but becomes HIGHLY POSSIBLE with more time. You can, if you have plenty of notice (week or preferably more)get stuff out of your system much quicker. Start drinking lots of water. Not all at once, though. Start exercising aerobically. Get out and sweat! Avoid alcohol and fatty foods that THC tends to cling to. And by all means do not take any more of the drug until after this is over with! This will increase your chances of passing greatly. Do not, under any circumstances, give them the first pee when you wake up. This contains the most drug.

==Beating Hair Tests==

With hair tests, you are in the realm of anti-drug test products. There are many companies that claim that their shampoo will let you pass. Use at your own risk. Do you still want to work for someone willing to spend that kind of money to be that intrusive?

==Common Myths==
Let's talk about some of the outdated or outrageous bullshit that is out there.

*If you shave your head, they cannot give you a hair test! They will just take hair from underarms or other places. The place they take from can be much older hair and a better sample at that!

*If you bleach/dye your hair, this will throw off a hair test! No, this does not work.

*If you put ammonia/visine/bleach/whatever in the test it will throw off the test! No. That may have worked when testing was a new thing in Hoffman's day, but they can detect that now and it will automatically fail.

*If you put X product from the head shop in your sample, it will throw off the test. Back in the 80s, these were the rage. They check for these now and will fail your test. Most adulterants do not work. The labs make lots of money weeding out folks and have teams of researchers analyzing the latest adulterants.

*Goldenseal! No. But it probably did a long time ago. It was so in demand as a masking agent in the 90s that nutrition stores had to keep it locked in a case. They are wise to that now. Most pills/herbs that are offered to mask your urine do not work.

*You can dilute it from the toilet/ sink. No. They will not let you flush and will not let you use sink. Sometimes they even put blue color in the toilet. Plus, you can dilute it too much. They check the color, creatinine levels, and temp of the sample and will throw it out as fake.

*You can get a non-using buddy to take the test for you. No. They always want to see a picture ID. It may be possible if you know someone who is clean that looks just like you and give them your ID. Possible, but does not apply to almost all folks in this situation.

==False Positives==

There are some common things that can create a false positive result. Avoid these several days before a drug test.

*Poppy Seeds.
*Codiene cough syrup or Tylenol-3
*Some over-the-counter cold medicines.

==more reading==
http://www.erowid.org/ Drug information resource.
http://www.norml.org/ Pot advocacy group.

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Drug Testing