Buses

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Buses

I've traveled close to two million miles on buses, as a passenger and as a bus driver. A few suggestions: most bus drivers do not care if you pay your full fare. If you put some money in the farebox, and are considerate of the driver and your fellow passengers, you'll be fine. It actually helps to tell the driver that you can't pay the full fare. Put yourself in the driver's position. Would you want to stress yourself out arguing over nickels with everyone who gets on the bus? Yes it's true that some bus drivers thrive on just that sort of miserabilism, but not all that many. Don't waste the driver's time with an elaborate hard luck story. Most bus drivers have witnessed more hard luck than you know. They appreciate being spared the details. Don't threaten bus drivers. Don't say things like, "I'll sue the bus company and get you fired". If you tried this on me I would tell you to get off my bus and call your lawyer. Absolutely don't threaten bus drivers with physical harm. Many big city buses have silent alarms, camera systems, GPS locator's etc. Besides, "I'll kick your ass if you don't do what I say", isn't good negotiating. How well does that sort of thing work on you? It is also unwise to assume that bus drivers don't know about your brilliant scheme. Personally, I've been riding buses since I was an infant. I started riding the bus on my own when I was 5. I got my first driving job when I was 19. I've driven everything from unlicensed hippy buses to articulated luxury cruisers. Chances are, I, and many other bus drivers are entirely familiar with any scam you might want to try. Bus drivers are working stiffs who want to make it through the day with minimal effort. If you understand this, and don't bother the regular passengers (many of whom know their driver) you can get where you're going with minimal difficulties. If you run into a nosey, bossy or mean bus driver, don't worry about it. Try again with the next bus. You might want to try hitchhiking while you wait.

Unfortunately, many modern city buses use a computerized farebox which automatically counts money and then beeps when the full fare is paid. This obviously makes short-changing the bus company difficult, but also provides a way for the bus company management to control otherwise sympathetic bus drivers. These fareboxes come with a button (often red) on the drivers' side of the farebox. This allows the driver to manually authorize a fare and is usually pressed when a transfer slip or a bus-pass is used.

If you need to get to the city and you are in the suburbs, a free and easy way to travel via bus is to go to the closest Greyhound station after it closes and wait for a bus heading to the main station. Just tell the bus driver that you need to get your tickets to travel to "any far city" and that the station is closed but you have a confirmation number. The driver should let you on.

When traveling long distance on a bus, train or airplane nothing helps you sleep more than a proper neck pillow. Our testers have found that the inflatable pillows are light and tiny but quickly spring a leak. Memory foam is heavy but very comfortable and makes a nice seat cushion or bed pillow. If on an especially noisy bus and you have a friend on the aisle awake you can also use earplugs or headphones and a sleeping mask to space out or sleep.

Original Buses

If you'd rather leave the driving and the paying to them, try swiping a ride on the bus. Here's a method that has worked well. Get a rough idea of where the bus has stopped before it arrived at your station. If you are not at the beginning or final stop on the route, wait until the bus you want pulls in and then out of the station. Make like the bus just pulled off without you while you went to the bathroom. If there is a station master, complain like crazy to him. Tell him you're going to sue the company if your luggage gets stolen. He'll put you on the next bus for free. If there is no station master, lay your sad tale on the next driver that comes along. If you know when the last bus left, just tell the driver you've been stranded there for eight hours and you left your kid sleeping on the other bus. Tell him you called ahead to the company and they said to grab the next bus and they would take care of it.

The next method isn't totally free but close enough. It's called the hopper-bopper. Find a bus that makes a few stops before it gets to where you want to go. The more stops with people getting in our out the better. Buy a ticket for the short hop and stay on the bus until you end up at your destination. You must develop a whole style in order to pull this off because the driver has to forget you are connected with the ticket you gave him. Dress unobtrusively or make sure the driver hasn't seen your face. Pretend to be asleep when the short hop station is reached. If you get questioned, just act upset about sleeping through the stop you "really" want and ask if it's possible to get a ride back.