Growing Your Own

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Grow Your Own

Pot is a weed and as such grows in all climates under every kind of soil condition. We have seen acres and acres of grass growing in Kansas, Iowa and New Jersey. If you're not located next door to a large pot field growing in the wild, maybe you would have some success in growing your own. It's well worth it to try your potluck!

The first thing is to start with a bunch of good-quality seeds from grass that you really dig. Select the largest seeds and place them between two heavy-duty napkins or ink blotters in a pan. Soak the napkins with water until completely saturated. Cover the top of the pan or place it in a dark closet for three days or until a sprout about a half inch long appears from most of the seeds.

During this incubation period, you can prepare the seedling bed. Use a low wooden box such as a tomato flat and fill it with an inch of gravel. Fill the rest of the box with some soil mixed with a small amount of fertilizer. Moisten the soil until water seeps out the bottom of the box, then level the soil making a flat surface. With a pencil, punch holes two inches apart in straight rows. You can get about 2 dozen in a tomato flat.

When the incubation period is over, take those seeds that have an adequate sprout and plant one in each hole. The sprout goes down and the seed part should be a little above ground. Tamp the soil firmly (do not pack) around each plant as you insert the sprouts.

The seedlings should remain in their boxes in a sunny window until about mid-May. They should receive enough water during this period to keep the soil moist. By the time they are ready to go into the ground, the green plants should be about six to eight inches tall.

If it is late winter or early spring and you have a plot of land that gets enough sun and is sheltered from nosy neighbors, you should definitely grow grass in the great outdoors.

One idea is to plant sunflowers in your garden as these grow taller than the pot plants and camouflage them from view. The best idea is to find some little-used field and plant a section of it.

Prepare the land the way you would for any garden vegetable. Dig up the ground with a pitchfork or heavy duty rake, removing rocks. Rake the plot level and punch holes in the soil about three inches deep and about two feet apart in the same way you did in the seedling boxes. Remove the young plants from the box, being careful not to disturb the roots and keeping as much soil intact as possible. Transplant each plant into one of the punched-out holes and firmly press the soil to hold it in place. When all the plants are in the ground, water the entire area. Tend them the way you would any other garden. They should reach a height of about six feet by the end of the summer and be ready to harvest.

If you don't have access to a field, you can grow good stuff right in your own closet or garage using artificial lighting. Transplant the plants into larger wooden boxes or flower boxes. Be sure and cover the bottom of each box with a few inches of pebbles or broken pottery before you add the soil. This will ensure proper drainage. Fertilize the soil according to the instructions on the box and punch out holes in much the same way you would do if you were growing outside. After the young plants have been transplanted and watered thoroughly, you will have to rig up a lighting system.

There are several types of lighting systems one can use. The cheapest and easiest is to use fluorescent bulbs. They run cooler and more efficiently than most types of lights. You need alot of light to grow good grass. Try to use about 8000 lumens per square foot of growing space. (You can find the lumen output of a light bulb by looking on the box.)

The only other truly acceptable lighting system is a HID (high intensity discharge) system. These use much less energy per lumen and output incredible amounts of light. The most efficient type of HID is a High Pressure Sodium setup. You can buy an HPS setup from Lowes for about $70. You'll need to modify it to suit your purposes. Be careful when playing with electronics. If you can afford it, HID systems are well worth the money, and will drastically increase the size and potency of your final product. If you choose to use fluorescent bulbs, keep the bulb about 2 inches away from the top of the plant. If you go the HID route, you'll need to keep the bulbs about 2 feet away from the plants. As the plant grows you will need to move the lights higher. Be sure to consider this when you're setting up your system.

There are 2 stages of plant growth, and each stage needs a different lighting schedule. The first stage is called the Vegetative stage. This is when the plant is focusing on growing its roots, stem, and leaves. During the vegetative stage, your plants will need 18 hours of light and 6 hours of darkness per day. Buy yourself a cheap vacation timer to turn the lights on and off automatically. The vegetative stage lasts for about a month, depending on your plant. To tell when the plant is moving into the second stage, check the nodes where the leaves grow out of the stem. If your leaves are coming out of the stem directly opposite each other (in a Y shape), your plant is still maturing. Once the nodes start to alternate, change your light schedule to 12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark. This will force the plant to move into the second stage, Flowering.

Flowering is when the magic starts to happen. Your female plants will start to produce the beautiful sticky buds we know and love. The female plants have a larger and heavier flower structure and the males are somewhat skimpy. The female plant produces the stronger grass and the choicest parts are the top leaves (including the flowers).

Inside or outside, the plants will be best if allowed to reach maturity, although they are smokable at any point along the way. When you want to harvest the crop, wet the soil and pull out the entire plant. If you want to separate the top leaves from the rest, you can do so and make two qualities of grass. In any event, let the plants dry in the sun for two weeks until they are thoroughly dried out. If you want to hurry the drying process, you can do it in an oven using a very low heat for about twenty minutes. After you've completed the drying, you can "cure" the grass by putting the plants in plastic bags and sprinkling drops of wine, rum or plain booze on them. This greatly increases the potency.

There are two other ways that we know work to increase the potency of grass you grow or buy. One consists of digging a hole and burying a stash of grass wrapped in a plastic bag. A few months in the ground will produce a moldy grass that is far fuckin' out. [Warning: Smoking moldy bud is dangerous and can make you very sick. This is -not- a good way to make your grass better. It'll only ruin good bud.] A quick method is to get a hunk of dry ice, put it in a metal container or box with a tight lid (taping the lid air-tight helps), and sprinkling the grass on top. Allow it to sit tightly covered for about three days until all of the dry ice sublimates.

One suggestion for indoor plants is to build a grow-room. There are many resources and suggestions on building a chamber to grow plants in (not just the herb!), but one way on the cheap requires a brand-new metal garbage can, two or three cinder blocks (or bricks), and a small lighting fixture (see above for lighting tips). For ventilation, punch small holes in the bottom of the can with a hammer and nail, and raise it off the ground by putting it atop the cinder blocks, then rig the light inside the lid. The shiny interior surface will distribute the light on all sides. Yes, it will look like something out of a Cheech and Chong movie, but it will get the job done.

If you have bugs chewing on your plants, go to your local health food store and buy a small bottle of Dr. Bronner's Liquid Baby-Mild Soap (the unscented kind). Dilute it about 1 part soap to 2 parts water, pour it into a spray bottle, then spray the plants with it. Dr. Bronner's is a very mild, vegetable-oil based soap and won't harm the plants. However, it will taste very bad to the bugs and they'll go elsewhere.