Hitchhiking

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Free maps

Most states offer free maps which you can either order from the official state website, the state tourism website, or from welcome/info/tourist buildings as you enter the state. Always have a highway map and good compass so you can keep yourself on the right road and headed in the right direction.

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The most important things to remember about hitchhiking are

  • Travel light.
  • Be neat, clean and polite.
  • Always try to look like someone you'd want to pick up.
  • Make a large sign with your destination, don't forget your markers
  • Don't bring a weapon or anything otherwise illegal for you to be carrying. Sooner or later you will encounter police, who will lock you up for the night if you're holding anything.
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Who picks up hitchikers?

Back in the day everyone picked up hitchikers. But in the 2000s, after a bunch of lame stereotypes were pushed by various media the people who pick you up will generally be:

  • Men looking for sex. This applies whether you're male or female and describes the plurality of people who'll pick you up. These range from the awkward/benevolent types who will give you a ride and not push sex once they realize you're not that girl from the album cover to the mean troll who'll quickly try to get you out of the car when you aren't interested. Actual rapists are rare to nonexistent.
  • Religious/political extremists. Don't be shocked if they try to convert you to their sect or convince you the government "did" the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
  • Nice, bored people. Yeah they do still exist. But they will be a minority of people who pick you up.
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Truckers

Your best bet is to ask around at a truck stop, many truckers like to have a rider to talk to. Women should watch out at truck stops since these places are also frequent workplaces for prostitutes or lot lizards in CB lingo, partnering up is a good idea in this sexist world. Even if a trucker is not interested in giving a ride ask if he will CB for someone heading your way. Talk to your ride first and especially at a truck stop and make sure they are cool, there is no reason to ride with a creep. If you were not carrying enough already a CB handheld radio can be used better than your thumb, call out to truckers even on the highway, talk directly to trucks you see wave and ask them for a ride. Of course when roadside hitching a big sign always helps too, be sure you are on the side of the highway heading where you want to go. Never put you bag in the back, snuggle it to yourself so you will have it if you decide to bail out.

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Links

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Original Hitchhiking

Certainly one of the neatest ways of getting where you want to go for nothing is to hitch. In the city it's a real snap. Just position yourself at a busy intersection and ask the drivers for a lift when they stop for the red light. If you're hitching on a road where the traffic zooms by pretty fast, be sure to stand where the car will have room to safely pull off the road. Traveling long distances, even cross-country, can be easy if you have some sense of what you are doing.

A lone hitch-hiker will do much better than two or more. A man and woman will do very well together. Single women are certain to get propositioned and possibly worse. Amerikan males have endless sexual fantasies about picking up a poor lonesome damsel in distress. Unless your karate and head are in top form, women should avoid hitching alone. Telling men you have V.D. might help in difficult situations.

New England and the entire West Coast are the best sections for easy hitches. The South and Midwest can sometimes be a real hassle. Easy Rider and all that. The best season to hitch is in the summer. Daytime is much better than night. If you have to hitch at night, get under some type of illumination where you'll be seen.

Hitch-hiking is legal in most states, but remember you always can get a "say-so" bust. A "say-so" arrest is to police what Catch-22 is to the Army. When you ask why you're under arrest, the pig answers, "cause I say-so." If you stand on the shoulder of the road, the pigs won't give you too bad a time. If you've got long hair, cops will often stop to play games. You can wear a hat with your hair tucked under to avoid hassles. However this might hurt your ability to get rides, since many straights will pick up hippies out of curiosity who would not pick up a straight scruffy looking kid. Freak drivers usually only pick up other freaks.

Once in a while you hear stories of fines levied or even a few arrests for hitching (Flagstaff, Arizona is notorious), but even in the states where it is illegal, the law is rarely enforced. If you're stopped by the pigs, play dumb and they'll just tell you to move along. You can wait until they leave and then let your thumb hang out again.

Hitchin on super highways is really far out. It's illegal but you won't get hassled if you hitch at the entrances. On a fucked-up exit, take your chances hitching right on the road, but keep a sharp eye out for porkers. When you get a ride be discriminating. Find out where the driver is headed. If you are at a good spot, don't take a ride under a hundred miles that won't end up in a location just as good. When the driver is headed to an out-of-the-way place, ask him to let you off where you can get the best rides. If he's going to a particularly small town, ask him to drive you to the other side of thy town line. It's usually only a mile or two. Small towns often enforce all sorts of "say-so" ordinances. If you get stuck on the wrong side of town, it would be wise to even hoof it through the place. Getting to a point on the road where the cars are inter-city rather than local traffic is always preferable.

When you hit the road you should have a good idea of how to get where you are going. You can pick up a free map (not free anymore. bummer...) at any gas station. Long distance routes, road conditions, weather and all sorts of information can be gotten free by calling the American Automobile Association in any city. Say that you are a member driving to Phoenix, Arizona or wherever your destination is, and find out what you want to know. Always carry a sign indicating where you are going. If you get stranded on the road without one, ask in a diner or gas station for a piece of cardboard and a magic marker. Make the letters bold and fill them in so they can be seen by drivers from a distance. If your destination is a small town, the sign should indicate the state. For really long distances, EAST or WEST is best. Unless, of course, you're going north or south. A phony foreign flag sewed on your pack also helps.

Carrying dope is not advisable, and although searching you is illegal, few pigs can read the Constitution. If you are carrying when the patrol car pulls up, tell them you are Kanadian and hitching through Amerika. Highway patrols are very uptight about promoting incidents with foreigners. The foreign bit goes over especially well with small-town types, and is also amazingly good for avoiding hassles with greasers. If you can't hack this one, tell them you are a reporter for a newspaper writing a feature story on hitching around the country. This story has averted many a bust.

Don't be shy when you hitch. Go into diners and gas stations and ask people if they're heading East or to Texas. Sometimes gas station attendants will help. When in the car be friendly as hell. Offer to share the driving if you've got a license. If you're broke, you can usually bum a meal or a few bucks, maybe even a free night's lodging. Never be intimidated into giving money for a ride.

As for what to carry when hitching, the advice is to travel light. The rule is to make up a pack of the absolute minimum, then cut that in half. Hitching is an art form as is all survival. Master it and you'll travel on a free trip forever.

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