Monkey Warfare
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[edit] Monkey Warfare
Monkey warfare is using pranks to get attention by striking the least popular elements of CorpGov, to provoke a public reaction that will help bring sympathy to our cause.
[edit] Bitter Memories
There's a wonderful substance out there called Denatonium benzoate, AKA Bitrex. Check out the Wikipedia article on it for more detailed info, but basically, it's a bitter substance you can buy that will put a person into all kinds of discomfort without hurting them at all. Sprinkle it on the boss' doughnut in the morning. Add it to the coffee. Whatever! You can also use [Phenylthiocarbamide], or PTC, but it's not as effective, since some people can taste it and others can't.
[edit] Lockout
Make locks pick and key proof, use super glue and it will seize the pins, to be really sure the lock is ruined shoot a little carb cleaner into the keyhole first to clean out any oil.
[edit] Tree and Building Sits
Take a stand, climb trees which are about to be cut down or buildings that represent the corrupt system like finance banks. Often you can stay up for many days even weeks assuming you have hauled up food and water or there is not a 24/7 guard and you can rope up suplies. Fling pooh like a real monkey and you will gain major weirdo publicity, not sure that is what we want, maybe bag and save it or dump into the bushes. A banner for your cause makes you much more useful to the cause by giving the press something to photograph, better than letting reporters describe you as a lone nut.
See also Tree sitting and Backpacking and Camping#Hammock
[edit] Tyre Fyre
Burning tires in the road will shut down an intersection for a long time, a tire is difficult to extinguish with water. If burning steel belted tires are placed around (or slid over) a flag pole, fire hydrant, or steel sign post it is almost impossible to safely remove while burning.
[edit] Traffic Trouble
Often, Monkey Warfare is as easy as finding an abandoned couch and dragging it into the middle of an intersection. Make sure to do this with a friend, during a low traffic time (weekday mornings right before rush hour are the best). Also make sure to have a quick getaway (bicycles are best) in case a cop shows up. With the right timing and a bit of luck, this can cause mass confusion and major traffic jams.
[edit] Dumpster Fires
Large dumpsters often burn well and can be pushed or chain towed into the road before ignition. Fill one with something flammable (like tires).
[edit] Etch Glass
Phosphoric acid will etch glass, this is much more effective than paint on large windows, you can paint on your sign or spray-paint with a stencil leaving a image then use the acid the result will be an inverted image of the stencil frosted into the glass once the paint is removed. Experiment at home first, it could end up being a paying hobby frosting glass.
CAUTION: Do not get Phosphoric acid on any part of your body!
[edit] Dissolve a Building
Hydrochloric acid (or Muriatic acid) can be used to dissolve cement and concrete. Drill a hole into a wall near the corner and plug in a hose from a large bucket of acid with a gravity feed into the wall, they might have to close the whole building for safety reasons.
CAUTION: Do not get Hydrochloric acid on any part of your body!
[edit] Photo Radar
If you see a photo radar trailer or red light camera scout out for hiding cop cars, if there are none around tow it into a pond or off a cliff!! In the UK the latest fashion is to get pissed and burn down the camera pole.
[edit] Marbles
A bucket of marbles can be used to make riot police less aware of what's going on. They will be a little preoccupied trying not to trip. Marbles and rubber snakes can also be used to spook police horses. Keep in mind that marbles may crack horse's hooves and cause them great pain. They may even fall over, injuring themselves, and possibly nearby demonstrators.
[edit] Etherkiller
A possibility for taking out an office for a few days would be to sneak in and install etherkillers. These will be attached to cheap timers set for a very early morning period of time in an empty office. To make an etherkiller, splice a length of Cat-5 cable with a length of extension cord, plug the whole thing into the network, a timer, and the wall-socket (110 volt feed). After you've set the timer, leave -- you don't want to be around when large amounts of current are fed into Ethernet wiring.
WARNING: This is a very dangerous and destructive activity. This attack will destroy some hardware attached to the network and may cause fires, so if you get caught may well find yourself facing an arson charge.
[edit] Monkey Warfare, the Movie
There's a new film from Canadian filmmaker Reg Harkema called Monkey Warfare, which illustrates many of the principles. It includes a Molotov Cocktail instructional video whose script was taken from Steal This Book.
[edit] Links
See also Weapons for Street Fighting
[edit] Original Monkey Warfare
If you like Halloween, you'll love monkey warfare. It's ideal for people uptight about guns, bombs and other children's toys, and allows for imaginative forms of protesting, many of which will become myth, hence duplicated and enlarged upon. A syringe (minus the needle) or a cooking baster can be filled with a dilute solution of epoxy glue. Get the two tubes in a hardware store and squeeze into a small bottle of rubbing alcohol. Shake real good and pour into the baster or syringe. You have about thirty minutes before the mixture gets too hard to use. Go after locks, parking meters, and telephones. You can fuck up the companies that use IBM cards by buying a cheap punch or using an Exacto knife and cutting an extra hole in the card before you return it with your payment. By the way, when you return payments always pay a few cents under or over. The company has to send you a credit or another bill and it screws up their bookkeeping system. Remember, always bend, fold, staple or otherwise mutilate the card. By the way if you ever find yourself in a computer room during a strike, you might want to fuck up the school records. You can do this by passing a large magnet or portable electro-magnet rapidly back and forth across the reels of tape, thus erasing them. And don't miss the tour of the IBM plant, either.
Another good bit is to rent a safe deposit box (only about $7.00 a year) in a bank using a phony name. That usually only need a signature and don't ask for identification. When you get a box, deposit a good size dead fish inside the deposit box, close it up and return it to its proper niche. From then on, forget about it. Now think about it, in a few months there is going to be a hell-of-a-smell from your small investment. It's going to be almost impossible to trace and besides, they can never open the box without your permission. Since you don't exist, they'll have no alternative but to move away. Invest in the Stank of Amerika savings program. Just check out Lake Erie and you'll see saving fish isn't such a dumb idea. If you get caught, tell them you inherited the fish from your grandmother and it has sentimental value.
There are lots of things you can send banks, draft boards and corporations that contribute to pollution via the mails. It is possible to also have things delivered. Have a hearse and flowers sent to the chief of police. We know someone who had a truckload of cement dumped in the driveway of her boss under the fib that the driveway was going to be repaved.
By getting masses of people to use electricity, phones or water at a given time, you can fuck up some not-so-public utility. The whole problem is getting the word out. For example, 10,000 people turning on all their electrical appliances and lights in their homes at a given time can cause a blackout in any major city. A hot summer day at about 3:00 PM is best. Five thousand people calling up Washington, D.C. at 3:00 PM on a Friday (one of the busiest hours) ties up the major trunk lines and really puts a cramp in the government's style of carrying on. Call (202) 555-1212, which is information and you won't even have to pay for the call. If you call a government official, ask some questions like "How many kids did you kill today?" or "What kind of liquor do Congressmen drink?" or offer to take Teddy Kennedy for a ride. A woman can cause some real excitement by calling a Congressman's office and screaming "Tell that bastard he forgot to meet Irene at the motel this afternoon."
A Washington call-in would work even better by phoning direct to homes of the big boys. For starters you can call collect the following*:
- Richard M. Nixon - El Presidente - (202) 456-1444
- Spiro T. Agnew - El Toro - (202) 265-2000 ext. 6400
- John N. Mitchell - El Butcher - (202) 965-2900
- Melvin R. Laird - El Defendo - (301) 652-4449
- Henry A. Kissinger - El Exigente - (202) 337-0042
- William P. Rogers - El Crapper - (301) 654-7125
- General Earl G. Wheeler - El Joint Bosso - (703) 527-6119
- General William C. Westmoreland - El Pollutoni - (703) 527-6999
- Richard M. Helms - El Assassin - (301) 652-4122
- John N. Chafee-El Sinko Swimmi-(703) 536-5411
- Any group who elopes with any of the persons listed is entitled to a free copy of this book. Anyone who parlays all 10 in a lift-off can have all the royalties. Send ears for verification.
A great national campaign can be promoted that asks people to protest the presidential election farces on Inauguration Day. When a president says "So help me God," rush in and flush the toilet. A successful Flush for God campaign can really screw up the water system.
If you want to give Ma Bell an electric permanent, consider this nasty. Cut the female device off an ordinary extension cord and expose the two wires. Unscrew the mouthpiece on the phone and remove the voice amplifier. You will see a red and a black wire attached to two terminals. Attach each of the wires from the extension cord to each one from the phone. Next plug in the extension cord to a wall socket. What you are doing is sending 120 volts of electricity back through equipment which is built for only volts. You can knock off thousands of phones, switchboards and devices if all goes right. It's best to do this on the phone in a large office building or university. You certainly will knock out their fuses. Unfortunately, at home your own phone will probably be knocked out of commission. If that happens, simply call up the business office and complain. They'll give you a new phone just the way they give the other seven million people that requested them that day.
Remember, January is Alien Registration Month, so don't forget to fill out an application at the Post Office, listing yourself as a citizen of Free Nation. Then when they ask you to "Love it or leave it," tell them you already left!
