Panhandling
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Panhandling
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Panhandling is easier than your mom. Just get a cardboard sign that has something like "broke and hungry" or "traveling, and need supplies." I find that saying your hitchhikinging across the state really helps. If you aren't broke or hungry and ain't travellin you could always be funny with the sign. A good line like "I wanna drink" or "Support Your Local Bums" will get ya enough to get a buzz sucka. Don't fuck around, however, cuz the cops don't really dig bums and will end your employment for the day. Be polite and never be aggressive with ANYONE. Easy fuckin money...easy. Also, if your young, then selling water on the street is great. But a pack of many small water bottles, and sell the tiny bottles for like, 50 cents. Only go up to cars when there is a red light, and NEVER buy bottles of water individually to sell. buy big 10$ - 20$ packets If you wanna make some Dough.
Original Panhandling
The practice of going up to folks and bumming money is a basic hustling art. If you are successful at panhandling, you'll be able to master all the skills in the book and then some. To be good at it requires a complete knowledge of what motivates people. Even if we don't need the bread, we panhandle on the streets in the same way doctors go back to medical school. It helps us stay in shape. Panhandling is illegal throughout Pig Empire, but it's one of those laws that is rarely enforced unless they want to "clean the area" of hippies. If you're in a strange locale, ask a fellow panhandler what the best places to work are without risking a bust. Do it in front of supermarkets, theaters, sporting events, hip dress shops and restaurants. College cafeterias are very good hunting grounds.
When you're hustling, be assertive. Don't lean against the wall with your palm out mumbling "Spare some change?" Go up to people and stand directly in front of them so they have to look you in the eye and say no. Bum from guys with dates. Bum from motherly looking types. After a while you'll get a sense of the type of people you get results with.
Theater can be real handy. The best actors get the most bread. Devising a street theater skit can help. A good prop is a charity canister. You can get them by going to the offices of a mainstream charity and signing up as a collector. Don't feel bad about ripping them off. Charities are the biggest swindle around. 80% or more of the funds raised by honky charities go to the organization itself. New fancy cars for the Red Cross, inflated salaries for the executives of the Cancer Fund, tax write-offs for Jerry Lewis. You get the picture. A good way to work this and keep your karma in shape is to turn over half to a revolutionary groups such as your local underground. Remember, fugitives from injustice depend on you to survive. Be a responsible member of our nation. Support the only war we have going!
